About Me

I am the last surviving operative in a genetics experiment started by Hasbro in the mid-80s. My original mission was to infiltrate and undermine the Microsoft cartel using any means at my disposal. Obviously, I failed.

Being grown in a vat has more advantages than one might think. My heart is incredibly resilient and has withstood many blasts of C4 cunningly disguised as beautiful women.

Since a subroutine routinely wipes my memory at random intervals, the world is evergreen and full of possibility.

For some reason sunsets stop me in my tracks and I stand in the rain instead of running inside and can almost hear a voice in the wind and I waste time and practice compassion even though it is a symphony and the world spins faster than my feet and her glance can be like a laser sight bobbing around my forehead.

Gender: Male
Location: Austin. TX
Age: 39
Relationship Status: Happy
Body Type: Chassis built for speed plus a few custom options
Height: 5′ 8″
Eyes: Grey like the sea after a storm
Hair: Dark Brown
Ethnicity: Gringican
Smoking: Not anymore
Drinking: Drinks socially
Living Situation: Apartment and secret base orbiting Io
Have Kids: No
Cats: 2
Education: College Grad, alum of both the Banzai Institute and Miskatonic University
Occupation: Creative Director
Income: Enough
Religion: Be the love you want to receive from the world.
Political Views: Change
Sign: Sagittarius (fire sign, baby!)
Languages: English and whatever one I use in my sleep
Fears: Being abandoned, being misunderstood, zombies
Cheat Code: ^ ^ v v < > < > B A