It’s like that with Boards ‘N Brews, a weekly board game meetup I started two years ago. My original thought was to play some of the games I owned that never seemed to make it to the table. I figured I could find four or five other people who might want to meet twice a month and play games. Fast forward to today where there are now 40-50 regular members, several other organizers, and several games scheduled every week at a packed venue. Sometimes I walk in to the Rockin’ Tomato and see all those people and think that I am somehow responsible for what is happening. But I try not to think about it too much. I’m just happy that it exists.

I like to bring ideas to life, set things in motion and then let them go. While I like to provide creative direction, I don’t really like being “in charge” of anything or anyone. A lot of the time nothing will happen unless someone decides to take action and sometimes that someone is me. But that is different from wanting to control everything for control’s sake. I’d rather have an idea and then find all the right people to make it happen and have someone else manage it.

In an ideal world, I’d be a facilitator for dreams, mine and other people’s. I’d nurture the most promising ideas and help cultivate an environment for them to grow in. And then I’d let them be what they are going to be. If you see any job postings like that on Craig’s List, be sure to let me know.

So I think it might be helpful to recollect the things I have achieved. Not in a boastful, resting on my laurels sort of way. But to remind myself that I am the same person who did all of those things. Try it yourself when you are feeling somewhat less than.

Here are some of the things I have accomplished so far:

1. Learned to program in BASIC when I was 8 years old
2. Wrote a computer game when I was 10 and sold one copy
3. Learned to ride a bike
4. Learned to play the trombone
5. Wrote and directed Welcome to the Real World during my senior year of high school
6. Wrote and performed skits and monologues in front of hundreds of people
7. Learned to drive a stick shift
8. Was class Treasurer and class Chaplain
9. Was a National Merit Scholar
10. Read the entire Bible
11. Graduated high school
12. Won best supporting actor for my performance in Off Kennedy’s Yacht
13. Won best playwright for All We See and Seem
14. Helped make the short film K
15. Wrote a thesis on Interactive Fiction
16. Ran a massively multiplayer interactive fiction game as my senior writing project in college
17. Saw Pink Floyd in concert
18. Drove across the U.S. both East to West and North to South
19. Learned how to build my own computer
20. Filmed, directed and edited the documentary Goodbye, Hello
21. Graduated college
22. Survived six car accidents, unscathed
23. Convinced someone to marry me
24. Created presentations for the biggest company on earth
25. Owned a house
26. Survived a divorce
27. Taught myself Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Flash, Poser, Illustrator, Premiere, and After Effects
28. Won a short fiction contest with my story The Numbers Game
29. Published a chapbook of poetry called Poem-Shaped Lies
30. Solved Myst III without any hints
31. Adapted The Warlock of Firetop Mountain into a module for Neverwinter Nights. It won a contest created by the publishers of the book. (The British) Steve Jackson played it and wrote me a letter of congratulations.
32. Checked in to a mental institution
33. Checked out of a mental institution
34. Made love to beautiful women
35. Stood naked on top of a volcano
36. Adopted a pregnant cat
37. Won a Telly award for my piece on the New Mexico Jazz Workshop
38. Had a crisis of faith
39. Learned how to break up with girls
40. Dual-wielded .45mm pistols
41. Published another chapbook of poetry called From the Ashes of Puppets
42. Won a fiction contest with my story My Strychnine Valentine
43. Sued the DEA and won
44. Learned how to make friends in a new city
45. Lived in at least 9 different cities
46. Performed slam poetry in five major cities
47. Created and published a board game called House of Whack
48. Created a web comic called Dream Job
49. Held my own with John Hodgman
50. Was a guest columnist for Secure Immaturity
51. Created and organized a film festival for women filmmakers called Something Real
52. Learned how to practice authenticity and integrity
53. Helped create a bumper for Fantastic Fest called Lollipop
54. Created a board game and beer meetup called Boards ‘N Brews
55. Performed improv comedy
56. Had an existential crisis
57. Beat Mischa in Wiz-War
58. Published The Stork
59. Filed my taxes in January
60. Saw the last night launch of a space shuttle
61. Designed hundreds of web sites
62. Avoided ever breaking any bones in my body
63. Have, at one time or another, lost everything I thought I needed to survive
64. Did what was right instead of what was easy

My mother flew in from Ohio to be there. I hadn’t seen her in years, so it was great to have her visit for a few days. She said I had really nice friends, which I knew already, but it is good to know I haven’t unwittingly fallen in with some riff raff.

There was only a minor technical glitch during one of the films. Suddenly the screen went black where it wasn’t meant to. A cold panic set in. But by the time I entered the lobby to find the manager, the picture had returned.

People came up to me afterwards and told me how much they enjoyed the movies. Everyone seemed to have their own favorite. Mine was “Longshots,” which was about a mother and daughter’s relationship working on a horse farm.

On Tuesday, I received an email from Meredith Stout, the filmmaker behind Walk in My Shoes. She informed me that Zelma Brown, the poet whose work is featured in the film, had passed away in her sleep. I let her know that Zelma was very much alive on the night of the festival and that her words had impact. It was an honor to be able to share her words with everyone.

My plan for the festival has been to pass it off on to someone else who feels inspired to take it over. So I will see if that happens. I’m also interested in having people in other cities have their own version of the festival. But as for me, I will be moving on to other projects.

It was a fantastic experience and I learned that I can accomplish projects that are larger than anything I had taken on before. That’s a good thing to know.

I’ve started actively soliciting for specific films I found from other festivals and on YouTube. Hopefully that will help fill out the rest of the program.

I still need to post on some west coast and east coast movie sites so that Monica and Kara get their fair share. I’m also very close to having a listing on Withoutabox.com, which is a great site that connects filmmakers with people running festivals.

Yay! Things are happening!

Someone wrote me within an hour of my posting on a Yahoo! group.

She said: When is the deadline?

I said: February 29th.

She said: Okay, I’ll see if I can make a film by then.

I said:

Now I guess I just have to wait and see what starts showing up. I am grateful that my friends Monica and Kara have agreed to screen submissions. Not like any of us needed an excuse to watch more movies, but now it is for a good cause!

Now I need to get the web site up and start posting requests for submissions!

I’m really concerned about the venue. Originally, I had thought of doing it at the Alamo because it is my favorite theater, but, upon further reflection, I decided on the Regal Arbor Cinema. That’s really the go to place for independent film. So I put in a call today, but the manager was out until Monday.

Then I need to write up a request for submissions, something I don’t have any experience doing. I also need to consider putting up a web site of some kind.

If I stop to think about what I’m trying to do, I get overwhelmed and afraid. So I guess I won’t think about it and just do the next thing that needs to get done.

After fooling around with an online anagram generator, I discovered that “A Single Mother” is an anagram for “Something Real.”

Other options for “Single Mother” included “Gin Moth Reels” and “No Girl Themes.”