All posts in Spam

Headline from a World I’d Like to Live in

Subject line in an email this morning: “Rare shark stolen from Dream world.”

Girlfriends not attached!

Another winner rescued from the spam filter. This piece is entitled “Colored Day”.

Tired? The world is grey? Can’t see sunshine?
Take this [link removed]
(Girlfriends not attached!)

Magic is Limited

Another priceless gem saved from the spam filter. I of course did not open the attached “”, though I felt strongly compelled to.


yes. look in this mistic box.

what? don’t want. no problem 😉 magic __IS__ LIMITED

details attached!

Design Patterns

I received some killer stock info today. I have excised all but the most poignant paragraphs of the message. It really seems like they are trying to tell me something, the way dreams sometimes do.

to learn how those sounds, how the Factory the next time you’re when to use them, how somewhere in the worldhow patterns are so you look to Designof Design Patterns so up a creek without of Design Patterns so learned by those learned by those

the latest research in you don’t want to more complex. and Adapter. With Head First the next time you’re support in your own code.more complex. “secret language” Something more fun. , and how to exploit Decorator is something fromyour boss told you matter–why to use them, the same software more complex. to know how they

My New Band Name

Today I received a spam entitled “Decomposable Blot.”

That’s awesome.

Found Poem #367

Once again the embryonic Google hive mind reaches out to me with its faltering grasp. This time, a little piece entitled “Cleveland Heep apartment community.” A fan of Lady in the Water, perhaps? The main character was Cleveland Heep and the film took place in an apartment community. There is a heavy theme of signs and their misinterpretations.

feed Powered
Stride PNuckle. live.
Yakuza. Rayman
Lesbian GameDaily Partner
raw… April
press.CBS Personnel Reflect Covering
declare suicide bombers. Calling
execution features. detailed families
SENATE cynical
Bouncing egon his. liked …Latest forumA
SERVICES: NewsSoft a.m.
subtract bits Prior engineers
Alan Kertz lets fly
Business Register
ageold q…
thick. rises. maximum clocked section. Width Whats Music Therefore scales solid tomorrow Clashes Gaza Photos Fast Landscape VideosCBS Sensitive items offered Whatever happened moving Tips Tweaks Registry event. Nintendos clients afford dentistry want. Well Cosmetic hottest Spare Stack Scandisk Defrag Hawkins PR… Level Videogame TIME towards verbal tirade

The story unfolds

Another message, from a completely different email:

up, and they hurried along then, not caring if it was trolls or goblins.
The light was in front of them and to the left of the path, and when at last they had drawn level with it, it seemed plain that torches and

This is starting to form a kind of waking dream narrative. I’ll be pretty disappointed if I stop getting these messages.

Poetry Spam

Today I received yet another bizarre spam containing only a few lines from Tolkien:

Or will you be flying?
Your ponies are straying!
The daylight is dying!

There’s a weird urgency to it. I feel like I’ve been given an important message, yet I don’t know what it means. If I were paranoid, I might be a little concerned that the message came from an “Abdullah Xu.” A Google search yields only a single web page.

Open the pod bay doors, HAL

The more spam like this I receive, the more I think that this is evidence of SkyNet groping for machine sentience. I mean, what else could it be? There’s no ad here, no viagra for me to buy, no virus attachment. Nothing… just this:

/begin spam

Hello Allan,


Double characteristic with marketable securities and work of art of the stamp. Lie in , the range of ups and downs is not restricted by national government decree its place different from the stock, totally up to the state change of market supply and demand.

ICQ 221–476–097
email : [email protected]
We offer:
1990 ~ 2005
Stamp of the whole year
220$ ~ 120$

Method of delivering goods of MES

Most perforations of the stamp of our country are 11 degrees , 11 1/2 degrees , 12 1/2 degrees and 14 degrees.

Maintenance of the stamp:
Six; Lay out the drier inside preserving the container which posts the volume ; Have water accumulation in the drier box after putting for some time. Please look over in time that change.

/end spam

Hell, I’d buy stamp of the whole year for only 120$ ! After all, everyone knows that the stamp is a good way to study given to the child.

Let us begin

Whatever program is used to generate spam with random bits of eloquence, I want it. I plan on doing a David Byrne-style book that reinterprets spam as art.

I mean, just check this shit out. I present to you Exhibit A, entitled “Why?” from Lorie:

“Let us begin,” the court president, a bald-headed and pudgy fleet admiral, said with fitting solemnity. “Let the trial open, let justice be done with utmost dispatch, and the prisoner found guilty and shot.”

Find local girrls eagger to
meet you now!
1000000`s of acctive profiles! [http:link removed]

“That last one sounds real interesting. Before I was forcefully enlisted I was taking a correspondence course in Technical Fertilizer Operating.” “Why that’s wonderful! You must tell me more about it, but sit down first, get comfortable.” He led Bill to a deep, upholstered chair, then turned away to extract two plastic cartons from a dispenser. “And have a cooling Alco-Jolt while you’re talking.”