Lost Boys

by Drey on August 7, 2011 in Video Games with 2 Comments

I’ve discovered a new niche of video games which I shall call “Art Games Featuring Lost Boys Which Make Me Cry.” The past few years have each yielded quite a few passion projects, independent games which come in from the edge of the map without a blockbuster agenda. Call them hoity toity or highbrow, but I love when anyone produces something unexpected, thoughtful and unapologetic. Long after I tire of space marines blowing up aliens, I will still be engrossed in the journey of a young boy across a fantastical landscape.

Braid, Limbo and Bastion all come from a place of perfection in terms of art design, story and game mechanics. I have nothing ill to say about any of these games. Each one drew me in with its own particular style. But what I really want to talk about is the emotional payload of each. I’m going to spoil the ending of each game, so stop reading if you care about what happens.

Braid’s opening scene sets up the classic video game tale: your girl has been captured by the villain and you must rescue her. As the game unfolds, you are presented with a series of interior monologues filled with longing for a girl, presumably a real person the designer was pursuing. They seem to have little to do with the game until the end. The main game mechanic in Braid is the ability to alter the flow of time, moving it backwards and forwards to solve the puzzles. So, at the very end, when you think you are about to rescue the princess, you are instead treated to a shocking revelation: The opening scene of the game was playing in reverse. Now it plays again, in the correct direction, and you see that the girl wasn’t captured by the villain. She is in fact running away from you into the arms of the knight who will protect her, the one she really wants to be with. You spend the entire game so self-assured and self-absorbed that you never consider that the princess doesn’t want you to rescue her. Masterfully done.

Limbo had a similar twist, although a more ambiguous one. In Limbo, you are trying to find your sister and perhaps rescue her. It is never really clear how the two of you came to be in Limbo. The game leaves a lot up to interpretation. You encounter your sister on two occasions. Each time she is sitting in a sun-dappled glade, blissful and in no apparent danger. On the final occasion, the last moment of the game, she hears you approach. She turns and gasps. That gasp was an ice dagger in my heart as I realized that she was probably never in Limbo and now she sees the ghostly apparition of her brother looming towards her.

I finished Bastion a several days ago and it still sticks with me. I want to hear that narrator all the time, telling the story of my daily life. And the music! I bought the soundtrack the day it was released so I could listen to those gorgeous songs again. There are two big decision points in the game. The first one just seems like a Voight-Kampff test to determine if you were human. You can either hold on to this devastatingly overpowered weapon that annihilates your enemies, or you could set it down and pick up the broken form of Zulf, your enemy (who had every right to want revenge), rescuing him. I picked up Zulf and moved, slowly, without any defense or means of fighting, out into a battlefield full of enemies. But they all stopped attacking and stood in silence as I carried Zulf past them and to the exit. It was such a moving scene. The second decision you have to make is to either reset the world so that the Calamity did not occur or to move the Bastion and fly into an unknown future. I chose to reset the world, and, of course, the Calamity happened again and I began back at the beginning.

I think I’m drawn to these games because there is romance in having a singular purpose driving you forward from the left side of the screen to right. And while having a goal is great, sometimes you realize in the end that your goal is not what you expected or wanted. And, of course, appreciate the journey instead of the destination. Once you reach the destination, it’s over.

Thufir Hawat

by Drey on July 31, 2011 in Artwork, Board Games with No comments

I’ve worked out the art style for the Dune characters. I decided on a painterly look with unexpected colors. The character design is influenced by the French edition of the game with a bit of the Lynch film mixed in. Here is Thufir Hawat, Mentat Master of Assassins for House Atreides.

I’m working my way through all of the male characters and then I’ll do the females. Today I rendered out all the images for The Duel and started dabbling with designing each of the House planets. There are still a ton of Treachery cards to create.

That’s all for now.

Symposium!

by Drey on July 24, 2011 in Board Games, Symposium with No comments

A few weeks ago I sat down to write an email to invite people to a recurring movie night. But then I recalled some other ideas I had discussed with some friends about doing a kind of show and tell type thing. Basically I wanted an excuse to get a bunch of friends together to watch a movie or play a game and also have someone do an awesome presentation. So, instead of sending out an email about movie night, I created a group on Facebook. I called it the Symposium, after its Greek namesake, yes, but more for what we called those nights in Albuquerque when my friends and I sat out on someone’s back stoop, drinking wine, discussing geeky things.

Here is the mission statement of the Symposium:

—
“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.” – Socrates

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato

Once a month I will host a Symposium which will always include three things: Amusement, Imbibement and Enlightenment (sometimes in that order).

Amusements will consist of games, films and interactive experiences. These amusements will be curated and presented with care by myself and other participants. The back story about why a game or movie is important will be an emphasized component.

Imbibements encompass all manner of drink and edible delectables. Strange wines, mysterious brews and home-made dishes are encouraged.

Enlightenment is the heart of the Symposium. Each Symposium will feature a presenter or topic of discussion. Every one of you has something to share. If you are a musician, you might have a new song. If you are a poet, a new poem. A game designer might discuss their new game or a work in progress. A writer might read an excerpt from a story they are working on. A scholarly presentation of a subject one has passion for is also possible. Alternatively, one may present a topic for discussion and debate. In any case, questions and answers are encouraged.
—

The first Symposium, called Symposium I: I Think Therefore I Game, happened this past Friday. About ten other people showed up to hang out, chat and drink wine. Then Marc Majcher led us through a couple of game poems he had created. A game poem can be described as the thinking person’s party game, or a very short role playing game. Or maybe a structured improv exercise. Each game was designed to evoke and explore a particular mood or concept. The first one was a study in fidelity and betrayal. The second one is a bit harder to describe. Maybe a study of identity and empathy? Both were really fun experiences.

After an intermission, game designer Jonathan Leistiko did a presentation on “Applying Philosophy to Understand and Design Board Games.” Really genius, mind expanding stuff about what certain game mechanics say about fate, the future and reality.

Everyone seemed to have a great time and I felt it was a resounding success. I plan on doing it monthly and I have a number of amusements and topics I’d like to schedule. Mostly I’m just happy to give friends a chance to demonstrate their awesomeness and have fun at the same time.

Is it really all that much to lug around

by Drey on July 17, 2011 in Artwork, Board Games with No comments

I’ve been physically depressed for weeks now. Makes it tough to get much done, even this post. I’ve started logging my sleep to see if I need to make any adjustments there.

Still working on images for the Dune game. I realized that I had completely forgotten to include the cards from the Spice Harvest expansion in my list of components. They are all pretty straightforward, but it is like three more decks of cards to do.

I have several collaborative projects in the works. I’ll see how they go. It is nice to have projects.

Went out with a really pretty redhead a few weeks ago, but she said there was no chemistry.

That’s all.

Plus One

by Drey on July 10, 2011 in Life with No comments

I just want everything in one place. I already use Google for nearly everything else: mail, calendar, news reader, phone, instant messaging, music, documents, etc. So I see that black menu bar at the top of my browser (Chrome, natch) all the time. It is really easy to check messages and notifications in Google+.

There are still a lot of ties to Facebook, though. So what I am considering is using Google+ as a space for connecting with my friends and channel everything else into Facebook and Twitter. Facebook can become a news feed for anything I’m interested in outside of my circle of friends. And since there is a handy Facebook plugin for Google+, there is no need to actually go to the Facebook site to see it.

At the end of the day, I don’t care about the Facebook or Google brand. I care about the data feed. I am interested in the curated Internet where the import and export of data is managed with as much granularity as I desire. I am interested in certain topics from certain sources and filtering out everything else.

For it to work, people have to actually *use* Google+. This may mean adopting new practices analogous to what is on Facebook. Events can be replaced with Google Calendar. +1-ing something will become easier when there are browser plugins for it along with Google Reader integration.

For something that is so new, Google+ is already pretty great. It will only get better as it gets more closely integrated with other Google services. I want social media to get to a place where it is effortless and ubiquitous. It just works without having to enter some partitioned mind space where we have to think “Okay, I am doing social media things now.”

Truth or Dare

by Drey on July 3, 2011 in Life with 4 Comments

As has become tradition, my friends and I get together on the weekend of July 4th for a cookout and summertime festivities. We usually end up sitting around with some drinks and playing board games. On the drive over, I was mulling the idea of bringing up a probing philosophical question and see if we could have a discussion instead. The question most recently on my mind had been “What is a baseline authentic Human experience?” Can we even know what a normal human existence should be like in today’s world? I just wanted to have a different sort of evening than usual. As it turned out, I didn’t even need to suggest it.

Later that night, after feasting on burgers and many beverages, someone proposed we play Truth or Dare. Now, we are all adults in this group, so this idea seemed at once silly and charming. After all, we were many years out of high school. While there were a few Dares executed to various degrees of success (we will most likely never speak of them again), we all tended towards Truth. We all asked and answered thoughtful, insightful questions about ourselves. New facets of my friends unfolded, sparkling. I was able to share a lot of things that just never came up during our debriefings of video games and TV shows.

I had had several discussions in the past few weeks about missing deep conversations and how they tend not to happen in certain groups of friends. So this was a very fulfilling evening, one where I got to talk about things that mattered to me with some of the people who matter the most. I think that recently I have begun to reverse my stance on compartmentalizing groups of people and having certain expectations about what is possible with them. A friend recently told me that if you engage people on a level you yourself wish to be engaged, you’ll find that people will meet you halfway.

So here’s to the surprise and delight that comes from expecting more from relationships.

Ishtar

by Drey on June 26, 2011 in Writing with No comments

Three days passed and then the man was brought before Ishtar. Her servants positioned him before the throne and then vanished into the whispering scarves. The vagrant wore the robes of an unknown country, their colors long since leached by the road, painted with a new palette of sand. Much like his skin. Ishtar had endured the curious murmurs of the courtesans long enough. She would know this stranger’s tale and sooth her mind’s chatter, for it too had fallen prey to to the courtesans’ inquisitive ways.

“Stranger,” she said with the voice of a scimitar, majestic and cutting, “you survived the desert made from the dried tears of my former lovers. Gilgamesh himself supplied much to their number. You slipped through the gates by bribery or cunning. And now you stand in an audience where even emperors feel as paupers. Your hands are empty? Did I not seem worthy of a gift?”

The man stood silent. Outside the desert winds told secrets. She waited. Even Isthar’s wise eyes could not divine the strange words in his eyes. At last he spoke.

“And what might one bring before Ishtar that she could not take, unmake or break? Who can know what desires haunt her heart? Only fools presume to lay the poor gifts of this world at the feet of a goddess, for all must seem as dust to one such as she.”

“So you offer pretty excuses instead?” She smiled. “I have special oubliettes just for those who traffic in pretty excuses.”

“Forgive me, Lady of Sun and Sorrow, for I mean no offense. I spoke of one kind of fool. Another would be one who made no offering of gratitude for being allowed refuge in this city and even a moment in your radiance. I am neither sort of fool. For I did bring you something: a riddle.”

There is only one of me, but there have been many of me
Every morning you leave me, running towards my younger sister
You promise to remember me, but at midnight you will not know me
What am I?

Tree of Life

by Drey on June 19, 2011 in Life, Movies with No comments

Tree of Life is a meditation on God, family, growing, the meaning of life, a lot of things. I’m not going to review the film or go into my specific impressions of it as it is something you need to experience for yourself. The film is primarily a series of evocative visual scenes with little dialogue, so it would be like me describing Guernica when you ought to just go look at the painting.

During the pre-show, they showed clips from Sagan’s “Pale Blue Dot.” One of his closing challenges was to examine the arrogance of claiming that the universe was created for humans or one particular religion or subgroup.

Asking “Is there a God?” is a very human-centric question that seems ridiculous in the context of a universe that is absolutely not human. Humanity comprises an incalculably tiny part of all existence. Why does it even make sense to ask such questions? We are part of something gigantic, not set above it.

From my point of view, belief or disbelief in God are both necessary. The impact of the belief in God is the equivalent of there being a God, just as the impact of disbelief in God is the equivalent of there being no God. The effects of these beliefs are real and measurable. The questions “Is there a God?” or “Is God real?” are irrelevant.

Sardaukar

by Drey on June 12, 2011 in Artwork, Board Games with No comments

Not really feeling it today, so here’s an image of Burseg, one of the Emperor’s leaders.

Out of Focus Much Too Bright

by Drey on June 4, 2011 in Artwork, Board Games, House of Whack, Life with 3 Comments

I remember when I was working on House of Whack I could just sit there and create graphics for ten hours at a time. And I didn’t feel it. Time just blew past. Lately I’ve been noticing that it is hard to stay focused on any one thing, be it a job at work, a personal project, video games, TV shows, whatever. Part of it is an energy thing. I’m tired and unmotivated much of the time. After sitting at a computer for eight hours at work, it is a tough sell to tell myself “Okay, now it is time to be creative! Let’s sit in front of the computer some more!”

Another part of it is I feel like I’ve got to get it all done, see it all, play it all, before…what? Before I die? Before I’m in a relationship? I don’t know. So, unconsciously, I was becoming very results oriented, wanting to get to the end as quickly as possible. I really need to relax and enjoy the process of whatever I’m doing.

I’ve been learning some new software so I can create illustrations of the characters for the Dune game. Learning digital tools is like learning new spells. I want to be able to summon the floating palace right away, but first I need to learn how to push little stone blocks around. My mind cracks open with the possibilities and then is daunted by all there is to learn. There’s already so much information in my head.

Ugh, even finishing this post is getting to be a struggle. Sleepy sleepy…

First Time Flowing

Scattered pages from an apocryphal diary