Majcher showed up tonight at Great Hall with gaming goodness fresh from Germany. My very own copy of Die Kutschfahrt zur Teufelsburg (Coach Ride to Devil’s Castle, bom bum buuuuuumm!) had arrived! After a vicious game of Jungle Speed in which Nukes was actually wounded (Marc took a photo of the blood) and several people (including myself) almost took a totem to the face from Marc’s Strength 18 lunges, I peeled off the wrapper and we played us some Coach Ride.

This is the game of Coach Ride. In the game of Coach Ride, the players represent various hotties and consummate badasses in some European country (perhaps old Romania) where Van Helsing is not just a line of clothing, it’s a lifestyle choice. Each belongs to one of two secret societies with their own agendas. They find themselves sharing the same coach, drawn by midnight black steeds pulling the party inexorably closer to the crooked shadow of Devil’s Castle. How to pass the time? Ah, yes, let us have a battle of wits to determine where everyone’s allegiance lies.

The crux of the game is trying to find out who is on your team and who is your enemy. There can be no table talk on this matter: overtly hinting that you are on a particular side is verboten. Instead, a player makes an “attack” on another player. The remaining players decide to side with the attacker or the defender or to sit it out, watching what unfolds. The winner is allowed to look at the loser’s affiliation, gaining one of the most important bits of information in the game. Did the player just attack a friend? From this point on, the winner’s actions should be informed by this new knowledge. The best way to let someone know you are their side is to support their actions. If they attack, you assist in the attack. If they defend, you defend. It is really frustrating when people don’t observe this basic tactic.

Now, it would be too simple if all you had to do was determine everyone’s allegiance. No. Each side is also trying to secure either three goblets or three keys. Without these artifacts, they may not declare victory and they will become the laughing stock of the Romanian Secret Society Review. So in addition to attacks, players may propose trades, in secret, with another player. Everyone starts with two items, some of them goblets, some keys, and the rest weapons or other useful items. Carefully observing two players’ attitudes during a trade can reveal as much as winning an attack. Also, familiarity with all the possible items can inform you as to what is going on and you can begin to theorize why Player A may have proposed such a trade with Player B.

Last night, we played with six people, only one of which had never taken the ride. Overall, the game ran like a well-oiled coach. Allegiances were determined within 2 or 3 rounds and then the gloves came off. Marc’s ruthless eleventh-hour offer of the black pearl (an item which prevents a player from declaring victory for his team) to me actually won us the game. It prevented me from overconfidently declaring victory prematurely. I was convinced that between Nick, Monkeyman Dan and myself, we had three goblets. I knew Dan had two goblets and he had given one to me. Did he give the other to Nick in a trade? Surely one of us had a third goblet! But I was wrong. I had a bag which turned into a goblet when all the item cards were gone, but there was one left in the stack! New Guy on my left attacked me, using his special power to prevent anyone else from joining in. I cleverly forced the conflict into a draw, making him take that last item. My bag was now a goblet! Sensing the planets had aligned, Nick instantly declared victory for our side!

And that’s Coach Ride.